Cahs fro Glod

Cash for Gold, Cahs fro Glod, Ehfd ed Fdsc, you see what I did there?  Now listen, underpaid, disease ridden, GED having youth.  I want you to go find a job, any job.  Your grandparents did it,  your stepfather did it, even Ryan Phillips did it!  Go out into the wild and kill it and bring it home. Drag it back home for you to gut, clean and consume! Vanquish your enemies, rape their women and sell their children into slavery. Take your best friend's arm and break it!  And after you have broken it show it to him. Show him the power you have over his life and the lives of others! Show him how easily his hopes and dreams have been destroyed!...  Oh wait, you found a job?  So what are you doing? They make you wear what now?!

#OccupyCashForGold, worst.  Have we honestly come to the point where this makes sense? I have a great idea, lets take our gold along with all of our personal possessions to Middle-Earth and dump them into Mt. Doom.  In fact there may be a feeling of relief after ridding yourself of all those Gameboy Pockets you've been carrying with you since childhood. I would like to imagine that the gold suits provided are covered in real gold and that heavy metal poisoning is only moments away, worst.  Look, paying two men one step away from poverty to stand and be ridiculed my passersby as they wave goodbye to their future like a clown waiting for the big top to be set up only to realize that his wife and entire family have abandoned him because he chose the clown career instead of supporting his loving wife of 10 years, Barbara, is hilarious but ineffective.  

Question: Has one of these sign spinning, handstanding, meth smoking, people they pay to stand on the corner and wave, dance, listen to an iPod, ever attracted you to go the establishment advertised? Well has it!? No, of course it hasn't! Also, do you think that there has ever been an impromptu gold sale, ever?  A person who drives by and notices these individuals would never decide to just drop in for some quick cash from the gold on hand! Gold on hand, what is this Skyrim? "I only have my anniversary tennis bracelet to liquidate!? I guess its going to have to go!" Worst Ever!