Skymall is for assholes. If hell had a library, it would contain every issue of Skymall ever published. I took this picture whilst drunk on an American Airlines flight to Zion. Skymall is like a last resort for the brain-starved masses. Once the PSP/Laptop/iPod dies your next highest brian activity is Skymall...or highjacking. While hijacking is a viable alternative to Skymall, you may regret your decision to let the 345lb TSA agent/man-child ,whom smelt like last nights bowel movement, confiscate your nail clipper now that the ex Navy Seal Air Marshall is seeing red cause you have fingered yourself as a potential bogey... I would compare stooping to the SM (gonna abbreviate from now on) to eating human flesh, its like your last goddamn option. LOL, its like intellectual cannibalism! I'm a goddamn genius! I personally watched the fall of a fellow passenger to SM. Let me verbalize the descent: (remember the PC game Descent, WTF was that?)
1) Oh, getting bored with the garbage book you picked up at the Jerry Jones themed store back at DFW aren't we! Can't always count on them covers for being reliable references, now can we!?
2) Trying to close your eyes now are we? Oh wait, the recycled air has made your eyes painfully dry and closing them adds to the problem? FUCK, the drink cart just almost took your arm off!
3) Oh well, lemme thumb through this marsupial pouch in front of me searching for baby Joeys... SM!? Well, lemme have a look! DONE!
This simple 3 step process happens everyday. Avoid it, or you may end up with a toaster that cooks hotdogs whilst mowing the lawn and composting the clippings while powering your house and recycling your 200 count aluminum can collection while seamlessly controlling locale and national weather patterns. Who drank all my Scotch?!
Ryan:
Brobdingnagian...
