Why is suddenly everyone with the internet instantly a food critic? You download this bullshit app and just start blabbing away about how the fucking bread wasn't "up-to-par" at Subway. No one cares what you think about the food. This is the most flawed website and rating system on the internet. Any "Farmville -I-just-locked-my-kid-in-a-hot-car-for-12-hours-so-I-can-rake-kabocha-for-horse-feed" mother can now access this site to complain about "lousy service" and that the Corn nuts at the local Circle K tasted "not the same".
I digress, my first experience w. a "Yelper" was not by choice. I'm walking by some bullshit korean owned sushi shop and some office Brandon in hush-puppies walks out whilst careening over his iPhone 3G. "I'll give this 2 stars," he says. Picture my face. Utter horror and fear. Imagine you're a new restaurant owner. You have to boreass everyone you know for the first 3 months to give you 5 star ratings to counteract all the morons that go in there and comment that they got a fly in your food. It's called protein Brad. Don't go on the website and complain about the fucking SUSHI ROLLS if you are WHITE! Seriously, don't review on the site if you don't know what you're talking about (which is just about 99% of the people there). These people blab for lengthy paragraphs on sauces being runny, pasta overcooked, and not enough sea-salt on your bullshit eggs. It's food, put it in your fucking mouth. Don't rely on Yelp, half of these people i'd use for a meatshield against an oncoming hay-bailer.
The next time you opt to visit a restaurant via Yelp, read the 2nd page, not the first. You'll see how many non-sequitur comments and irrelevant crap is interlaced into their fickle rating of the place that just seems absolutely delicious. Embrace the hate - bon apetit!
No comments:
Post a Comment